I need to remember that everything I’m looking for in my life is right here inside of me and inside of my relationships with others ~ including the forest behind my house.
Thinking back it’s almost as if, for most my life, I was a dog chasing my own tail. I was searching. I was self righteous about the ‘proper’ way through life. I was looking for peace by doing intricate spiritual practices. I was even using mindfulness as a way to avoid feeling at times. My constant ‘spiritual’ busy-ness blunted the pain of being alive ~ the sadness, anger and deep grief.
At one point, I came to a breaking point. It crept up on me through the years ~ like how the forest takes over a field, little by little. But I couldn’t hold back the wild any longer.
I had perceived what was coming into my well-intentioned clear-cut ordered field as weeds: something that needed to be destroyed so I could live. But I was wrong: everything that came into my field was a gift. Every emotion that I had held at bay was my medicine.
When I stopped the chase I found Spirit rising in me in ways that I never expected. In some ways, you could say that I allowed the forest itself. I allowed it all and honored it by learning from it. Anger is passion. Sadness is mercy. Grief is truth.
I wish for you, my friend, the peace that comes from accepting all that comes to you and finding the medicinal properties of all your emotions in your embodied presence.
Come home to yourself.